February 1, 2O23 

Josh,

Imbolc blessings, my Friend!!

The first flicker of light has come, reminding us of the returning of the Sun, as brighter days approach.

There were times Winter felt endless. 

The cold seemed to have frozen everything to its very core.

In those moments, I turned to our creations and found the drive and fortitude to push onward. 

I see posts daily where someone says that something reminded them of you.

Makes me wonder if you are paying people visits.

It’s getting close to Spring Equinox now, and the world is starting to transition.

Before long it’ll be August again, and you’ll have been gone for a year.

It may always feel surreal to me, you, taken in your prime.

Just the other day I was cleaning out my phone and I happened upon several videos of you, 

and of course, they made me smile, and miss you, and it still feels like we just haven’t gotten together in a while, not permanent - it’s often like that though, maybe it’s a bit of denial.

I admit that I still have a few voicemails from you that I have intentionally not deleted.

It’s comforting to hear your voice - you aren’t saying anything impactful in them, just on-the-road ETA updates, but still, these messages keep my memory of you whole. 

When the message ends, that’s it, back to reality.

Opening these portals to the past and mingling with the dead, leaves me contemplating the nature of loss, grief, gratitude, and perseverance through my own life experiences…

So many friends, family, and loved ones, residing beyond the veil…

My Mom has been gone for two years, and my Dad passed away seven or eight years ago now.

I get the same kind of fantastical thoughts and impulses about them that I feel when I reach out to you.

How often I want to talk with all of you…

There are a million questions I’d ask. 

Mostly, I have fantasies about what it would be like to share experiences as older, more seasoned adults.

It’s a lot sometimes…

It’s a melancholy thing… 

Most of the people I know now haven’t known me long—not as a small child, not as an adolescent, not even as a young adult…

And here I am close to 40. 

You are the third best friend of mine that has died too soon.

You never got to meet the other two, Matt and Maggie, but you all would have definitely enjoyed each other, and if we had had the chance-–they would have BOTH been all about your voice.

But time rolls on…

The memories linger so long as we speak of the lives and deeds of those we knew and loved.

The Legend Of Josh Kobel.

You’d be a little shy about it, but it would be well earned.

Part of you would secretly enjoy the attention. 

Miss you, Brother.

Onward and upward,....

JC