July 7, 2O24 (Reflecting on June 1st, 2024)

Josh,

It’s been a bit of an excessively long time since I’ve written, and I’ve plenty of excuses.

Some of my reasons are legit where I’ve been simply unable to locate the time, and some we’ll call “unintentional absence”, where I had time and knew I had the intention, but didn’t take the initiative because I was not doing much writing at that moment in time, or where I working consecutive 18 hour days and didn’t even glance at my laptop, or traveling somewhere as you know I do, like the Desert (Indian Springs, Nevada), or in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee - places where there is no service.

That being said, there have been innumerable unforgettable moments shared completely with you in spirit, and where you have been evoked by name, through the sharing of memories, or occasionally, seemingly self-pronounced drop-in visitations (meaning your essence has been like: 

“Hiiiiiiii guysssss, I’m heeeeeere.. If you couldn’t tell, I’m poking your shoulder and laughing in your ear… Yes, that was me, I moved your cell phone across the room to try to get your attention… Do I need to loudly sing Regina Spektor in your ear?”

All yammering aside about my “whys” and “becauses” I’m greatly looking forward to telling you about everything that’s been happening - there’s so much to say, truly… 

The time finally felt right, and so I was ready to open my (NEW) laptop,  yeah you heard me right, my NEW laptop,.. How many times have I complained to you about my device, and how it was impeding my ability to do things like work on our website..]

Well here I am on my BRAND NEW MacBook Air making magick words to you. 

The best part,... not having to steal zeros and right facing parentheses from whatever URL i could copy them from and then paste where I need em.  

Ridiculous, right? 

I know,.. 

Chuckle at me all you want (sticks tongue out at you with a smile).

My last letter to you was Sept. 22, 2O23, and in the time since then a LOT has changed.

As I sit here and count the time, I realize that I haven’t written to you in about 10 months.

In that time, it’s been slow moving, gradual, AND progressing in the right direction, but that rock is a-movin’, buddy,.. an inch is an inch, and when it’s a billion pound boulder, an inch is a LOT

Are you ready for this?........ 

On June 1st (2024) we did our first test screening at CinemaSalem in Salem, Massachusetts.

We expected 50 people, and 80 showed up - some even dressed up as their favorite Tarot tropes; some of our inner-circle C&K tribe came to the event (Dave Gill, Oberon Zell, Angie Yelton, Francine Kay, to name a few); and our tribe grew as well that day - people who never once met you said that after seeing the film that they felt as if you were an old, dear friend.

How strange it is to experience this evolution without you embodied beside me, but also omnipresently in your spiritual form - let’s be real, you’re always around one way or another.

Your parents came out, which was VERY special to everyone there; I feel they were well received, honored and reminded of what a rock-star juggernaut their son was (that’s you!!)

The night before the screening anyone in our tribe who had arrived in town at that point went to the “Antique Table”, one of Salem’s fine-dining establishments; we broke bread, and indulged in fancy feasts (not the cat food brand *laughs*) as a community, as a family re-uniting - our Tribe.

I asked Oberon (as the presiding Pagan elder) and your Father (as the presiding Christian elder) to each offer a blessing, which was honestly one of my favorite rent-free memories of the entire event - to see the bridge between faiths occupied by all our loved ones in support of our creation, celebrating the effort, love, the sheer will, and the brilliance of our collaboration-ship.

I introduced our tribe to the first ever C&K merch, an event poster of which I had 22 posters signed by myself and (our card artist) Ana Cerbone that were sold for $22 each, and would you believe it that more than half of the posters sold before the dinner was over, and before the event even happened?! - As soon as I presented them, everyone started passing money to me.  

People were genuinely excited to pick their own favorite or preferred numbers (of the posters and their corresponding cards) -  your parents scooped up number 1, which is really very cool.. 

Even if someone else had asked for it first, I would have denied them and favored your folks if they said that was the one they wanted (and I wouldn’t feel bad about it at all *laughs*).

Towards the end of the evening I stood up and announced that a very special guest had a message to share (people looked on in anticipation), at which point I took out my speaker and played “The Lord Of The Dance” (our version), and much to my surprise and delight, everyone got up and started dancing a jig around the restaurant; I got it on video and can’t wait to share it! 

All of this excitement, and that was only the night before the BIG happening.

These memories aren’t even nearly all the stories from that gathering; the conversations were enlightening, the vibes SO joyous, the reunions oh so sweet, and just, everything, it was great.

I could go on and on, but let’s keep it moving, otherwise this letter to you will be 30 pages long…

The next morning went pretty smooth, we had an easy waking and breakfast with our magnanimous host, Gypsy Ravish (who has become quite the supporter and encourager of our little project, as well as a dear friend and collaborator); renowned singer / songwriter / harpist Jenna Greene Oberon and his new bride, Rhiannon (whose handfasting Jenna and I had performed at just two weeks before in Tennessee), and a dear friend of mine, Hannah “SkQuirrel” Jones, a very talented poet who’s recently been enjoining with our live performances - she loves you and she never even met you - she speaks of you the way those of us blessed to have had you in our lives do; you would have been instant friends, hands down - she even calls you Joshie.

By late morning, everyone (cast, crew, and audience)  made their way to the theater and set up the space;  Jenna generously provided musickally-magickal ambience before the film while Tarot Readers served the community around the theater lobby - surely, you would have wanted to offer readings as well.

I had a table out with many of our props from the filming, including your top hat (which I also wore on stage), and let me tell you, I’ve now worn your boots (to be Santa for a gig last year), and now your hat; you have quite the energy about you, Sir. 

it feels like your energy merges with mine when I don your relics, however, I don’t think I’ll be trying on your corset anytime soon (it’s not my size *laughs*), that looks better on you anyway.

I knew many of the people there, and I also didn’t know many of the people there, and that was interesting and intriguing for me - like, “woah,.. I don’t know you and you’re here for our movie...“

Josh, you would have been just as dazed and confused as I was; entranced and immersed in the silver-screen version of “Us”; we would have been giddily whispering about it the whole time.

I really wish you could have been there, and I know everyone always says: 

“He knows, he’s here with you”...

I know, I know - of course - BUT.. 

I would have loved to have you there to see it on the big screen for the first time; to see your eyes grow large like mine; it was surreal, like, truly, a whole new way to experience our art.

Let me tell you Josh, I now know one of the biggest differences between being a live performer on a stage, and being a filmmaker watching from the back row, and that big difference is this:

When you are on stage, you’ll do whatever it takes to win them over, you know this.

You work for it. 

You’ll crawl across the stage, lick that guitar, throw those arms around all exaggerated, anything to earn that sweet applause, that cheer from the crowd, that rush of adrenaline after all the effort has been expended and poured into the performance; we talked about this, how the feeling I got playing in hard rock bands was of the same origin as those you experienced on a theater stage.

But with film..

You sit with all the people; curiously (maybe somewhat nervously) glancing around the room hoping to catch glimpses of any authentic, organic responses to what they are taking in of it. 

Will people yawn? Are they bored? Is the movie interesting enough? Will they get it?

And then - BOOM - the entire audience laughs in tandem as one of the jokes land.

OH MY GOSHHHH, JOSSSSSSSH - THEY GET IT!!!

Before the end, the crowd moved as a unit; reacting to the intensity, the humor, the heart,

They got it, they REALLY got it.

Thunderous applause at the film’s conclusion as Grandmother Elspeth proclaims the final line:

“Poor fool…”  (hard cut to the credits and musical theme) 

Wild whistling, and vapid hand-clapping ensues amongst a vibrant cacophony of jubilant hooting, enthusiastic cheering, wide-faced smiling as waves of secondary applause erupt.

People cried, Josh - they were moved - they were impacted - they were activated.

Proof of concept, Brother.

The damn thing WORKED. 

Relief, adulation, triumph, joy, victory, elation, SUCCESS;  these are a few of the feels I had.

Honestly, this event was more exciting than any music performance I’ve done in recent history, and there was barely anything to do, which is the funny part, because with a movie screening, you just show up, mingle, engage, and you don’t have to “run off” quite the same way as being in a “band” per say;  that was a new experience, to be able to “go on the ride” with the audience.

Granted, this was the first screening of it’s kind, so there was an element of magick in that, and at the same time, the fact that there were more than a few people in attendance not affiliated with us offered a truthful purity to it’s quality based on the way they positively received it all.

THAT,... that is evidence that we made a winning bet in chasing this wild, crazy, outlandish, yet achievable, graspable monument of media nearly 8 years ago;  we caught lightning in a bottle.

Before and after the film I took to the stage to offer some behind the scenes storytime shares; 

I answered questions and took comments and of course, used the moment to praise our Tribe. 

SkQuirrel gifted the audience with a performance of original poetry befitting for the film kick-off.

Oberon shared generous praise of our efforts creating the project, and personal accounts of his experience making the film (while in his full Hermit regalia, of course, illuminated staff and all).

Gypsy cast sacred space and bestowed a beautiful blessing upon the event, its people, its surroundings, it’s hosts (Tim and Leanne of Pentagram Shoppe), and most of all, to the project.

And I…

Well, I talked about you a lot.

Being up there centerstage, I found myself preferring to be at one side with you at the other; or both shoulder to shoulder, Centerstage - without a doubt busting each others chops as a comedy bit, us both gleaming and beaming with pride and joy; the audience not hearing just my perspective, but yours too, which truly is of exact equal importance and a priority to mine.. 

I don’t know dude, I would have loved to share a stage with you.

You often said that I was the “one who knew what he was doing, and steering the boat” (your words not mine), and yet on a stage, I think that I would have learned a LOT from YOU.

You were the theater “kid”, I was the punk-ass rock “dude”.

We would have been quite epic, Sir.

And there’s that little hole that never quite gets filled, reminding me again of your absence.

It’s not a wound anymore, more so just a missing piece, really.

I’m fit for the job that needs to be done, I just wish you were here too.

*I’m not crying, you’re crying*

Okay, okay, enough with the sentimental stuff.

Josh, the train is moving.  

We just gotta keep laying the rails down, keep the engines burning, and the wheels spinning.

There are two more screenings set up (Maryland and Pennsylvania) and several others anticipated, more BIG shifts with the “band” element, and fresh evolutions to discuss.

I’ll not delve into that here and now; I’ve already taken up a lot of your time with this letter, making up for my own absence for far too long, but I’m back in the flow, so here we go…

More to come, as always, and more that I want to say than I can or do, also, as always.

I’ll leave you for now with my favorite two words… 

Onward and Upward.

JC